FROM THE MOUTHPIECE

Posted on May 16th, 2017
Categories: News

FROM THE MOUTHPIECE – ON HOUSES AND HOUSE HUNTING

It is 2006. Our lovely Landlord has tragically passed away and the family offer us first refusal to buy the 3 bed bungalow we are renting on ¾ acres in Kileleshwa. The asking price is Ksh 5 million. Ridiculous, huff my boyfriend and I, why would we ever spend such a ludicrous sum on an old house? Hindsight is a marvelous thing – pre marriage and school we could have stretched to buying the property – these days it is a large block of flats, and whoever sold the land to the developer never needed to rent again. But not armed with said marvelous hindsight, we set out house hunting.

 House #1. “Hello, is this James?” “Yes madam this is James”. “James I saw you advertise a 3 bedroomed house for rent in Lavington for Ksh 80,000 p.m. Is it still available?” “Yes madam when do you want to see it?” “James can you tell me where in Lavington this house is?” “It is, ah, it is near the Police Station.” “Which Police Station?” “James Gichuru, it is just there on Manyani Rd East”. “Ok great lets go see it”. James and myself eventually find each other at a shopping centre parking lot, he is only 45 minutes late, and we set off. Another 20 minutes later: “James, where the h*#k is this property, we are nearly in Kangemi?!”

House #3 “Hi Peter can I view the 3 bed property you have in Lavington?” “Yes madam”. “Can we meet at 4 pm?” Yes madam but kindly you must pick me”. “Where are you Peter?” “I am in town”.

House #8 “David you are meant to be showing me a 3 bed bungalow for Ksh 75,000 p.m. Why have we seen a 4 bed double story house for Ksh 110,000 p.m. and a hovel I wouldn’t put my dogs in for Ksh 60,000??”

House #14 “Adam, I told you I need a property which is available NOW. There are people here. There are removals boxes here. I think these people have only just moved in!” “Sorry madam the landlord didn’t tell me the house has gone”.

House #23 “Michael, WHERE ARE THE KEYS?? I did not come here to admire the garden!!!”

House #34 “John, you clearly are not an agent for this property, seeing as the Askari won’t even let us in the gate”.

We end up living in a massive 5 bedroomed double story mansion in Karen, way out of budget and desired geographical location. Our Economic Housing Group dining table for 6 looks strangely out of place in the dining room, which is the size of a ballroom, and I can only afford curtains for the bedrooms. At least we have a home – for now.

If you would like avoid similar experiences, contact us for a list of reliable estate agents who won’t lead you down the garden path, literally!

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